Money is the root of all evil, as Irish millionaire Donal Kinsella is finding out. Surely it must be the perverting influence of money that caused him a) to sleepwalk, b) to forget his pyjamas on a business trip and c) too cheap to buy new sleep-ware. I hope they throw the book at him, and not one of those slim airport novels, a good old fashioned family bible. With protruding metal spikes. I’ll give HIM things that go bump in the night.
There’ll be swinging, swaying, records playing, PERVERTS IN THE STREETS. Pity the poor residents of Brattleboro, Vermont. A council no doubt infested with hippies, beatniks and other perverts of the highest order, has turned what looks like a decent town into a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah. Note the weedy perverts displaying their shame on each and every street corner. My God, why do you allow this filth and depravity to continue on Your good earth. Please send a bolt from the blue to zap these perverts right on their protruding lightning rods.
From the tiny acorn of naturism grows the mighty oak of perversion. Soon the twisted roots of depravity are consuming the God-fearing whole. Take Huntington Beach, California for example. They decided against making it a crime to be naked, unless it was for sexual gratification. Any of the 10 year olds under my instruction could tell you that THIS IS THE TOP OF THE SLIPPERY-SLIDE TO ETERNAL DAMNATION. If God had wanted you to be naked he would not have invented common decency, now would he? Anyway, I hope these perverts get sunburn that only their proctologists can cure.
I don’t know much about the interwebs, except that it is like a series of tubes on a super highway. I also know that it’s used to steal music and promote paedophilia and anorexia. Now apparently there is this second life thing. The ONLY second life YOU should be planning for is the one AFTER YOU DIE. Will it be High Tea with Jesus, or eternal broiling on the MacDonalds Grill of Hell? I know where all the nerds in this article are heading. Better start packing in that SPF 10 billion sunscreen now boys, not that it’ll do you any good…
The week in this case being “Nude Recreation Week“. Someone has gone stark raving mad with this one. If we only need a day to remember the mighty ANZACs, and a long weekend for the Queen’s Birthday, then why in hell should we take a whole week to celebrate perversion? I have decided to think of this as being like rabbit season, or fishing season, or duck season except for PERVERTS. My new motto for this week is: caveat in puris naturalibus.
Oh, this burns me up. Those saucy Canadians have gone too far this time. I’ll give them the Rockies for tainting The Bard with their outrageous nudity, and in “the Scottish play” no less! Tell me, how is Burnham wood supposed to come to Dunsinane when the attacking horde is NAKED! Talk about a plot hole! What’s next? “But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? Oh, It’s just Juliet – she’s bent over to pick up the cat, and the sun shines gently from her derriere.”
We tried to bring God to the Indians you know. It seems strange to even say that now, but there was a time when God & Queen ruled the subcontinent. You youngsters taking instruction from these columns should look it up on that wikkanpaedophile thing you’re all so keen on. Anyway, back in those days we kept the natives in check by God. You would never have seen the likes of this pervert running loose in the streets, or skies. Of course back then we didn’t have aeroplanes, so he would have had to get naked in the carriage of a steam train or something.
I don’t even know what this article was about. I saw the picture and threw something at the computer television set. Now my boy is typing this on his lap top. All I remember was seeing someone old enough to know better bearing his behind. Unacceptable.
Finally, some good news to report in my fight against the Perverts. I can’t claim personal credit for these stories, but I can’t help feel that my diligence and zeal in shining the light of the Lord on these miscreants is helping to turn the tide that will wash away the filthy flotsam and jetsam strewn by the wastrels and hippies in the sixties, and visited upon every generation since the summer of love. Do I sound elated? I am. Read these and praise Jesus – OR ELSE!
That’s enough for now, but just you remember perverts – you may think you’re clever running around with no clothes on, but sooner or later God is going to get you.
Unbelievable. England, the very BIRTHPACE of common decency (no, it wasn’t those supposed “civilisations” of the perverted Greeks or Romans) , is drowning in a sea of filth. Not even the police can halt the march of the nudists upon the hallowed soil of dear old Blighty. Shame nudists, shame. Put some clothes an and accept the Lord or don’t be surprised when your name is not in the Book of Life. I hope your seats all fall off, and you end up sitting on jagged metal tubes.