Those vulgar Americans have a phrase, “freezing your ass off”. This Danish jackass is taking that to the extreme. It is my fervent hope that this particular pervert freezes not only his posterior off, but also his reproductive organs, thereby removing himself from the gene pool as soon as possible. I for one will be sitting in my hut, toasty warm in my best khaki shorts, enjoying my Devonshire tea, while you are being punished for your perversion. Ha.
Someone told me that there was a thing called an eye-phone that lets perverts look at pornography from anywhere in the world… or something like that. I wonder if this pervert was using this new (de)generation technology? My boy tells me he wasn’t, but I don’t believe him. Until I have proof otherwise, I will henceforth believe all telephonic perversion is a direct result of the eye-phone. If I ever see one, I will happily poke it into the users eye. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED perverts.
Lies. That was my first reaction to this revolting article. Lies and slander against the good people of Queensland. God’s own country! Surely this cant be true. I have sent my minions to confirm this story, and if it is true hold prayer meetings and vigils until this blight is removed from the earth. I have sent them with video cameras that I may see this putrid exploitation of our womenfolk with my own eyes. Over, and over again. Preferably alone in my quarters at night.
I don’t think this is the first time I have decried the declining moral standards surrounding the once-great game of rugby. That won’t stop me doing it again. And again and again and again and again. And again. So here is the latest rugger abomination. Read it and weep.
Some days I despair for our poor police. Not only do they have to keep the lid on crime, both organised and spontaneous, but they also have to keep civil order. Normally this isn’t too hard in a place like Oregon, which is largely populated by good God-fearing Christians folk, much like myself. Unfortunately, even the most calm and reverent communities occasionally throw up the odd pervert. Few of them however are as odd as this here pervert. God’s Wounds! Somebody shoot this abomination!
Hippies. Hippies! HIPPIES! Every week more of them end up in my almost omnipotent view. This weeks’ vile hippies are of the tree-hugging variety, quite literally I’m afraid. And what’s worse is that they are NAKED. So, when does naked hugging cross the line into FORNICATION? I don’t really want to know, and yet I suspect that ship has already sailed for the nudie folks in the oaks… What jokes.
THe Dorset coast is particularly lovely, or at least it was. Now gangs of naked perverts want to destroy the natural beauty of the region by covering it with their disgusting naked bodies. Mark my words, that global warming thing is going to lead to more of this sort of behaviour. We need to stamp this out NOW!
Something doesn’t smell right about this story. Lawyers, ex bikies, nakedness. Why won’t the Herald Sun just come to the point and tell us what is really going on here. I can’t make head nor tail of this, but I’ll bet you dollars to donuts that it’s something PERVERTED!
One thing I have noticed since starting this column is that certain nationalities continue to crop up here. The Japanese, certain European countries, even the Americans – all of them are over-represented here. One nation that seems to pop up with monotonous regularity despite having a population of about 3 dozen, it New Zealand. Now it seems the destination of choice for international perverts to go about their foul business. Just you remember Kiwis that you are the NZ in ANZAC, and we would appreciate it if you could control your libidinous urges and behave in a manor behooving. OR ELSE WE WILL INVADE AND ANNEX YOU!
Rugby used to be a manly game for high spirited lads – good clean wholesome sport. Lately (since the 1950s) something has been going rotten in the state of Rugby, and bow it stinks to high heaven. I think the last nail in the coffin was the involvement of prominent homosexual Alan Jones in the private school system back in the 80s. Talk about poisoning the well! This disgrace is simply the latest checkpoint on the primrose path to hell.