Tuesday, December 19, 2006
I always said Cat Stevens was a pervert of the worst order. Now he’s been arrested for strangling prostitutes. Don’t get me wrong, in my day you were expected to strangle prostitutes, but times have moved on to the point where now, apparently it is even illegal to do so. While I might not agree with these new fangled laws, at least they have gotten this folk singing ninny off the streets, and I always said – “by any means necessary”. A good day to end the year… A good day indeed.
Monday, December 11, 2006
I.. . This.. The… but.. Oh, just read it for yourself. Too flabbergasted to speak. Going to lie down now.
You know, before the Cultural Revolution, China had a long standing culture with a number of good points; they venerated the elderly, they had nice costumes and the food was good. Since Chairman Mao and his loony lefties took over, all they get is this sort of perversion.
As an author myself, I am often tempted to turn from the light of the Lord, and write lascivious nonsense. Having an iron will, I always manage to beat this urge. Unfortunately some people aren’t so strong. And now the weak willed perverts are running America again. Stand-by for more Clintonesque sex-in-the-streets-of-Washington.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Q. What do you get if you cross Courtney Cox (from Friends) with Coutney Love (from Nirvana)?
A. Courtney Love-Cox (say it out loud – it’s a great joke for office parties)
I remember protesting at the front row of the Sydney Big Day Out when Ms. Love was playing a few years back. You know what she did? She flashed her boobies to the crowd. Then she started whining when a few kids in the crowd snapped Polaroids of them. They needn’t have bothered because now she’s showing her other Hole in a magazine.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Art… People go on and on about art, and how important it is, and what a wonderful medium for free expression it is, etc. ad nauseam. Well, you know what; ALL art produced post 1920s is rubbish. Unadulterated trash spewing forth from all corners of the globe. Take this for example. I’ve never been a big fan of the reds, but even those morons can smell the feces in this exhibition. Of course the spineless bolsheviks stopped when they should have shot the artist and burned his work, but at least they are heading in the right direction.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
The law is an ass. But how are our good lawmakers supposed to account for acts like this one that are so far off the scale of human decency as to boggle the mind. Sometimes there is no point bothering our already overloaded judicial system. Sometimes you just need to take the perverts out to the well by the old Davies farm, and let gravity do the work for you.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Japanese public transport: Masses of sweaty people crammed in together. No wonder it’s a haven for perverts. The Japanese even have a special word for the bus or train pervert – “Chikan”. Who would have thought someone would find a decent use for all those ridiculous telephone gizmos.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Those arch perverts, The Beatles, once sang “all you need is Glove”. This arch pervert seems to have followed in their cloven foot steps. Gaol for you matey! And have a good hard look at yourself while you are there, or the Lord will have something far worse than deprivation of liberty, bad food and involuntary sodomisation waiting for you when you die.
I like to think that when a man reaches a certain age, he gives up on the desires of the flesh completely. His genitalia waves a little white flag and lies down for the big sleep. Unfortunately there are those who don’t know when quit, like this dirty old man. Must be all that clean mountain air filling him with vigour. Perhaps we should ship him to the big city where the putrid air will sap his strength like the millions of other cattle sitting around in their cubicles waiting to die.