He’s dead, but not dead enough for my liking. I can only be speaking of the arch Pants-Man, the self styled “seducer of the valleys” (or as I call him the despoiler of the sheilas), finally did the world a favour and gave up breathing. Not a moment too soon either; actually now that I think about it, several decades too late. He will not be missed by right thinking people anyware. One can only imagine the collection of veneral diseases this pervert picked up over his lifetime. His groin must have been like a batch of second-hand petri dishes picked up on e-bay. I’m surprised his nose didn’t fall off – that’s what happens when you bed those dirty continental sheilas you know.
Now he’s gone to hell. Serves him right for having all that fun when he was alive. I never have any fun. That’s why I am immortal.
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