{"id":150,"date":"2008-01-23T08:53:06","date_gmt":"2008-01-22T21:53:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fallowbrow.rumblehead.com\/?p=150"},"modified":"2008-01-23T08:53:06","modified_gmt":"2008-01-22T21:53:06","slug":"hes-at-it-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rumblehead.com\/fallowbrow\/?p=150","title":{"rendered":"He’s at it again"},"content":{"rendered":"

The REAL major is at it again. He does this every election, and his rants are always amusing (see them here<\/a>), so below is the latest gab-fest between John-Wayne Witt (in the BLUE <\/span>corner) and Major B.A. MacLaren (in the RED <\/span>corner). It all starts with John-Wayne sending a pair of innocent enough links to BA. Enjoy!<\/p>\n

JWW:<\/span><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.theregister.co.uk\/2007\/11\/16\/drinking_terror\/<\/span><\/a>
\nhttp:\/\/www.schneier.com\/crypto-gram-0711.html#1<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

BAM:<\/span><\/p>\n

Before the year is out Witt, I will be reporting YOU.
\nI will be reporting YOU to MYSELF.
\nI will investigate YOU and advise MYSELF that YOU have something to hide.
\nI will beat the truth out of YOU.
\nYOU will be taken outside and shot by ME.<\/span><\/p>\n

JWW:<\/span><\/p>\n

Take YOUR medication, before the NURSE has to forcibly sedate you again…<\/span><\/p>\n

BAM:<\/span><\/p>\n

I hope to medicate you with something mighty Witt. You will beg and you will scream for mercy and you will be awed by it\u2019s power.<\/span><\/p>\n

JWW:<\/span><\/p>\n

I’m glad to see you are finally using my preferred moniker “Mighty Witt”, but you seem to have left out a comma. And I’ve told you before, leave your shrivelled antediluvian genitalia in your pants. No one is interested in it.<\/span><\/p>\n

BAM:<\/span><\/p>\n

YOU FILTHY PERVERT. I can call on The Redeemer at any time to turn your foul tongue to sponge.<\/span><\/p>\n

JWW:<\/span><\/p>\n

Sure, set your invisible attack monster on me. I’m not afraid. And how would spongifying my tongue stop me from typing? You really are pathetic. <\/span><\/p>\n

BAM:<\/span><\/p>\n

The joke is on YOU Witt you short-sighted buffoon. I have all eternity to watch your torment from afar. No fingers AND no tongue if I so will it. No heroin to take away your agonies. I am looking forward to seeing you suffer prawn.<\/span><\/p>\n

JWW:<\/span><\/p>\n

That’s the sort of “man” you are isn’t it Private. You enjoy watching others suffer. There’s a name for that you know: Sadism. The word derives from your hero the Marquis de Sade, and you grow more like him with each passing minute.<\/span><\/p>\n

Thankfully you are now too weak to ever deliver on the feeblest of your threats, so I am not worried. Consider the lilies\u2026. <\/span><\/p>\n

BAM:<\/span><\/p>\n

I will only be considering one thing you grape and that is your tombstone. Your suffering will be long if I have any say in it. I will give and I will take and I will give and I will take and I will damn well take. Don\u2019t flatter yourself Vitt<\/span>(sic)<\/span>. I would have done the same for De Saad<\/span>(sic)<\/span>, if given the chance.<\/span><\/p>\n

JWW:<\/span><\/p>\n

You want to give it to de Sade? You are perverted beyond anything I could have imagined. Perhaps there is a spot for you in “Pervert of the Week”. Perhaps you could also consider using grammar in future rants. Honestly, commas don’t bite! Besides Jesus & I agree: YOU ARE WRONG<\/span><\/p>\n

Blessed are the merciful,
\nFor they shall obtain mercy.
\nBlessed are the peacemakers,
\nFor they shall be called sons of God.
\nBlessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake,
\nFor theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
\nBlessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake.
\nRejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.<\/span><\/p>\n

BAM:<\/span><\/p>\n

YOU have put yourself beyond all redemption Vitt. You inhabit a wasteland where nothing decent would want to live. All tenets of wholesomeness and mercy and forgiveness are suspended. Read your bible Witt (and the CORRECT version at that) and see that The Lord authorises termination with extreme prejudice against the top-shelf sinner. There is nowhere to hide you bile. You can try misquoting God and taking The Saviour out of context, but you are only making things worse for yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n

Come Saturday, you will once again become familiar with that feeling of everlasting despair. Your Commie mates are being flushed down the bilge of history and your smirking cadaver will no doubt require The Lord\u2019s plunger to despatch such a putrid mass of fat in it\u2019s wake.<\/span><\/p>\n

Major B.A MacLaren \u2013 9th Division (Retired) <\/span><\/p>\n

JWW:<\/span><\/p>\n

I asked Jesus, and he says you should take a chill pill dude. He also told me that not one person on Earth is beyond redemption, and that he gives out “get into heaven free” passes to ALL sinners who ask for them. I grabbed a small bundle of them just in case, but I’m not giving you one – you will have to ask Jesus yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n

Jesus wanted to know where in His book you saw the expression “terminate with extreme prejudice”. He says he’s going to remove that from the next re-print. He can do it too.<\/span><\/p>\n

See you in heaven, oh except YOU won’t be there. See you FROM heaven.<\/span><\/p>\n

BAM:<\/span><\/p>\n

Your mockery of the word of The Lord is duly noted for future and dedicated punishment you pansy. You are yours only worship what comes out of The Necronomicon or The Koran or The Tibetan Book of the Dead. You won\u2019t find those \u201csacred\u201d texts anywhere but in the the toilet in paradise. The chances of Jesus ever engaging you in conversation are not likely. Perhaps: \u201cDepart from me ye Cursed\u201d?<\/span><\/p>\n

(At this point JWW decided to ignore the Major for a while, in the hope that he would shut up. Didn’t work! – ed)<\/p>\n

BAM:<\/span><\/p>\n

No response Witt my deluded sock of a boy?<\/span><\/p>\n

It was to be expected. I am retiring for the evening to meet with colleagues at my club. You have taken up your accustomed position face down on the carpet.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you feel to need to resume your spiteful diatribe after a big evening of reefer and anger at today\u2019s defeat, then do.<\/span><\/p>\n

The world is as it is.<\/span><\/p>\n

Major B.A MacLaren \u2013 9th Division (Retired)<\/span><\/p>\n

BAM:<\/span><\/p>\n

So it looks like Private Witt has failed to heed the call of reveille yet again?<\/span><\/p>\n

An opium haze can last for days, so I have doubts about hearing from you again in the near future son. For whatever reason, you have gone to ground and avoided the tough questions from his inquisitor.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

BAM:<\/span><\/p>\n

Still fumbling for that first reefer cigarette to start the day Vitt? Take your time my boy. I\u2019VE been up and about seen 0430 going about The Lord\u2019s work. My regimen will be half done before you crawl to the surface.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now Witt, a very great man has departed God\u2019s green earth. He was a great hero in every way and only made one mistake in his lifetime: an error which I have forgiven as it was under dire circumstances. Unlike yourself, I have that capacity. I don\u2019t blame my parents, teachers, government, doctor or bloody GURU for everything that\u2019s gone wrong in my life and the larger world. The Marharishi isn\u2019t here to HELP you Witt. He wants your rupee\u2019s to buy comely young men for his sick ashram of perversion. It\u2019s about time you realised that and stopped being a fool among fools.<\/span><\/p>\n

Drink this up like it is your first brandy of the morning Witt. Take a deep draught of a manly man\u2019s life and it just MIGHT do you some good:<\/span><\/p>\n

http:\/\/ap.google.com\/article\/ALeqM5gvJsbczhO_rTicOU5jSDR-eabZtAD8T1KH7G5<\/span><\/p>\n

JWW:<\/span><\/p>\n

Good Lord man, I have certainly whipped you up into a froth this morning. You’re like Satan’s own Cappuccino!<\/span><\/p>\n

As for “tough questions” from my “inquisitor”, the only questions I can see in your last 4 mails are: “Perhaps: \u201cDepart from me ye Cursed?”, “Still fumbling for that first reefer cigarette to start the day Vitt?”, “No response Witt my deluded sock of a boy?” and “So it looks like Private Witt has failed to heed the call of reveille yet again?” None of these are tough, so I’ll answer them for you now:
\n<\/span><\/p>\n